Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Tears of frustration

I'll admit it.  I broke down and cried this afternoon.  I am just feeling so overwhelmed with trying to manage the garden and finish the chicken coop on my own.  The garden is rapidly disappearing under a blanket of weeds and the chicken coop remains unfinished.
The tears?  I was already tired from a really busy day at work. I was trying to put up the last bits of siding on the way high up parts of the coop.  THINGS were not cooperating and pieces measured multiple times before cutting didn't fit... and I was running out of siding so every cut mattered.  I was FRUSTRATED!!!  And everything seems to be happening so slowly.  I couldn't put the wire over the windows because I realized that we don't have the trim pieces ready.  I ran out of nails... and now it's storming again.

But, V came and held me and let me cry for a bit and then helped me finish the siding- so the world seems a bit brighter... but it's still raining... and the chicken coop isn't finished... and I STILL don't have my vining crops planted... and the garden is a mass of weeds... and I still haven't planted the comfrey plant that J17 brought home from work... or our new kiwi that arrived to replace the one that didn't overwinter... or a couple of other flowers... and I have a huge mountain of laundry... and I feel incredibly guilty because I promised our friend Jim that I would till up a garden space at his new house and I have failed miserably at that.   Oh, and I have a bunch of huge onions to chop and freeze (my brother brought them on Sunday- more later on those).
So, I remain overwhelmed.  But, I have Friday off since I worked last Saturday (and it's my birthday).
Tomorrow is another day- I'll see what I get done.

Thanks for letting me whine.  Maybe I'll try to make some cheese to go with it some time....


  1. I hear ya. Sometimes a good whine is exactly what is needed to move forward.

    Keep your chin up. I'll be thinking of you...

  2. You are always so busy - it is okay to let things go just a bit now and then. In another week or two it will all be a distant memory and you will be back on the track you want to be on! You do so much and can be very proud of your accomplishments!

  3. Judy - When I have days like the one you had, I make myself sit down and have a glass of wine LOL

    Then I write a list of the most important chores and how long it will take me, and just doing that makes me feel better and more in control.

    Don't be so hard on yourself - you have so much to do and so many tasks to complete - take them one at a time, and, if you're not finished what you want complete by Friday / the weekend when your folks are there, don't be hard on yourself - enjoy your day and weekend! Tomorrow is another day, and, as they say, Rome wasn't built in a day.

    Finally, is there no way your children could help with chopping the onions?

    One day, one task at a time... and take a deep breath - often :-)

  4. That's enough work for anyone to feel overwhelmed by. I hope the weather cooperates, you get some help, and you have a nice birthday celebration.

  5. Oh I don't blame you for crying, you have a lot on your plate there. So just clear your plate for a bit, the earth isn't going to stop turning if things don't get done :)

  6. I know just how you feel. My Husband is barely home during the summer as it is his busy season at work. So everything falls on me. There are days you feel like the quicksand of things that need done just sucks you in. But somehow they do get done. And next year at this time you will look back and think just how much you did . Hang in there.

  7. I hear and sympathize with you, Judy! If it makes you feel any better (probably won't), I can't tell my corn from the weeds, the lettuce is only recognizable because it's bolting and my grass always needs mowing. Just plod along without coming down on yourself. With properties and animals, the work is never done, so just do what you can!

    And know you can whine anytime you want! We love you!

  8. Oh
    Don't we ALL have those days?? I had one yesterday too.
    It has been so hot here and the yard is ankle high again and the chickens are too hot and the weeds...oh God...the weeds!!! The dogs and cats are all crying to be in the house and the dogs are shedding so bad in the heat that there are tumbleweeds of fur rolling across my floors. I had a really bad day at work on Monday and one of my freezers died.

    Yesterday I mowed half the property (a self propelled mower, no rider) and nearly fell out from heat exhaustion. Today I am off work and will try to finish it. The weeding is next, and I have parsley and cilantro seedlings that should have been in the ground a week ago. Miraculously, they are still alive!!

    Hang in there sweetie. Today will be better.

  9. Hang in there! It can be an overwhelming time of year, but give yourself some breaks and keep plugging away. My tip for weeds is just mulch mulch mulch. Even if there are still some left cover them up with grass clippings or hay. Even if they aren't smothered they'll be easier to pull after, and for now you won't see them, ha! ;)

  10. There is nothing - nothing - like a good cry. Had one myself this morning. Spring is always a time of too much to do in too little time. This is compounded when you work full time, have a family and are trying to do complicated stuff yourself. Can you get your garden hand to start earning her gas money early? It will all get done and it will look wonderful! Did you say your birthday is tomorrow? Happy birthday early!

  11. It must be the phase of the moon. I am feeling that way myself :-(. It will all get done eventually. This will be my first year to garden full time at the farm so I know how the weed thing can bother you. Everything will still grow amongst the weeds so don't worry too much about that. Doing your friend a favor by tilling his garden will bring you good karma :-). I hope you can have a relaxing birthday. Let the kids do the work that day.

  12. I can come over tomorrow and we can go out for lunch or we can weed the yard or we can work on the coop or we can do whatever you want.

    I can also come by Wednesday any time.

    E-mail me. Call me. I can be some good company. I can even bring a bottle of wine (and your birthday present). :)

  13. You deserve a good cry now and again, it's tough doing for ourselves sometimes. I'm kind of giggling a bit since lots of us teased Mama Pea when she said she wasn't going to garden this year during her house remodel, and she's going to read this and say "SEE"?!! It's all out of your control this year too, you can be organized and have a plan and it doesn't even matter because it seems the weather has very different plans for us...

  14. Have a hug (hug) and stop beating yourself up!

    There will ALWAYS be work. Especially for those that do a lot :-)

  15. I hope tomorrow is a much brighter day for you. You're not alone at all in feeling overwhelmed - this is SUCH a busy time of year! If it makes you feel any better I'd really love to hear the details on how you freeze those onions. I have some sprouting on my stairwell and they smell so strong, every time I walk by I want them gone but I wasn't sure they would freeze very well.

  16. I understand! With 3 little boys, I find it so hard to get the farmwork done. I, too, get upset a lot. I'm trying to accept that it's okay if it doesn't get done.
    If it makes you feel better, I planted a 1/2 acre of winter squash last weekend during a 4 hour window while my hubby took the boys to church! The opportunity to get it done always seems to present itself, although at times it's later than I wanted...
    As for the coop, the hens won't mine what it looks like! My sons accidently ripped the front board off ours so now there is a gaping hole in the middle of the door. But you know what? So long as the coons & dogs can't get in, I'm okay with it.
    I understand - and don't worry the time to get it done will happen & don't worry if it doesn't.

  17. Wow! Thanks to you all! I'm feeling better today. I think it was a combination of feeling overwhelmed, being hormonal and HOT!
    Barefoot gardener- Thanks! I do feel better after getting it all out. I do tell my patients to find someone to listen to because the more you keep it inside, the worse it gets- thanks for listening.
    2 Tramps[ I hope it will all be better in a week or two! I know that I'l get through- I'm just impatient!
    Dani- I waited for the wine until tonight! I am a fanatical list maker- although with some of the things I'm trying now, I can't estimate how much time they will take because they are so far outside my normal range of tasks. I'm usually the construction helper, not the foreman! And the children do help out. This time of year they are responsible for most of the indoor housework such as dishes, vacuuming, taking out the compost, etc. I'm not sure I would trust the boys with chopping onions- they may not keep their fingers. And my daughter already has a list of assigned tasks.
    Jon- Thanks! I'm not sure the weather will cooperate- we had storms all day- we'll see what tomorrow brings.
    Ali- I'm trying to remember that the world won't end. I just won't be happy about it.
    Jane- thanks- I don't realize how much I rely on him until he isn't available.
    Lisa- LOL! Our grass is totally out of control and I'm thinking about taking the push mower to parts of the garden!
    Akannie- OOO, sorry to hear about your freezer- that would be a disaster! I hope all turned out well for you. All I can say about the grass is that I'm glad we don't still live in town or we would have had a 'notice' on the door about needing to mow!
    s- I am a firm believer in mulch. I tried something new this year- a corn based 'plastic' weed barrier- I put some of it down but I'm finding that I don't really like it. It really needs mulch on top of it (you're supposed to just have to bury the edges in dirt) because it keeps blowing out of place, even when secured. Last year we had great luck with newspapers covered in grass clippings, Unfortunately, we have had so little chance to mow that I'm short on grass clippings- and time to install them (even if the weather would cooperate).
    Susan- I agree that there is something very healing about a good cry. My garden assistant has started. Unfortunately, it has been so hot in the past few days (until today when it rained all day!) that she has only been able to work for a little while. But, she said she needs gas in the car so maybe that will motivate her to get out there- if she doesn't sink!! And thanks for the birthday wishes.
    Barb- unfortunately, I know all too well that the plants will grow even among the weeds. every year I vow to have a less weedy garden- and things don't seem to cooperate.
    Jen- LOL!!! Thanks for the offer! I'll be home most of the day if you have the yen to stop in. I'm not sure how much weeding will get done because of the rain but I'll be working on the coop. I'm so close to being done that I can't stand it!!
    Erin- Oh, yeah! I had such a detailed plan- the coop was supposed to be done a month ago! But mother nature doesn't seem to be paying much attention to my plan.
    Compostwoman- Thanks! I'm not complaining that there is work to be done- I enjoy that- it's just that there is so MUCH of it all at once!!
    MarriedTTF- I'll do a post on the onions- it is really pretty simple. Mom used to do it all the time.
    ANMama- I can't even imagine trying to do this if the children were little! I'm amazed at all you've been doing with little ones. Keep up the good work.

  18. This has been such a crappy year - for EVERYTHING! I know I still have flowerbeds to clean out from winter, mulch to spread, a chicken coop to clean out and the mowing is neverending. I've decided I'm not doing the garden this year - I will just buy my stuff from the amish neighbor to can. A little more expensive, but a lot less headache:) Keep plugging away and it will all get done and definitely have a glass (or two) of wine:)!

  19. Judy, don't give up. :-) You'll get there!

  20. I'm late jumping in here but just wanted to say that you're trying to do one heckuva lot for one woman! I don't know why we all expect so much from ourselves. But what can you do but push, push, push when there are those deadlines and chicken houses that just won't finish themselves. 'Bout all we do during those times is let off steam by having a good cry. It's been proven that doing so really does release pressure and does some good. Also having all of us out here in blogland who understand your situation are always willing to listen and lend a shoulder.


Glad you stopped in. I would love to hear from you.